A year ago today, I was sitting in a Church in Townsend, MA watching my nephew Kaiden’s preschool Holiday Show. I had seen the same show three times before – twice for Ashton and once for Kaiden the year before. It was always a beautiful event, filled with two of the most magical things about the Holidays – Children and Music. The show was always followed by a potluck lunch. As we learned the hard way the first year, getting a seat for the potluck lunch required racing to the dining area immediately after the show. My Dad would be the first in line for food, but always the last one eating, and it was an enjoyable time with my family and my sister-in-law’s family right before the Holidays that had become somewhat of a tradition.

At some point during the show, my phone started buzzing. I had signed up for alerts from ABC news and there was a brief message about a school shooting in Connecticut. It was one of those brief, vague messages, that seemed to be motivated by a media outlet trying to be the first to “break” a story that would eventually turn out to be nothing. I turned off my phone and quite honestly forgot about it for the most of the remainder of the event.

Well, sadly, we all know, this news was far from “nothing”.

I looked at my phone while getting ready to leave for home and saw several more notifications. I remember saying something vaguely to my brother that I think something bad happened at a school in Connecticut. But again, I didn’t give it too much thought.

Until I got in my car and turned on the radio.

My heart stopped. The story was still evolving so the facts were different depending on what news station you were listening to. But there was no doubt that something unthinkable had happened, and that the tragedy involved young children. There is nothing that hits home for a mother of two small children more than hearing about something horrible happening to another child – any child – whether you know them or not.

As I drove home, I learned that several children had been killed, most of them first graders (we would later learn that all of the children killed were first graders). Ryan was a first grader at the time. With every fiber in my body I wanted to go right to his school and pick him up and bring him home where I knew he would be safe, and I could keep him safe. The logical side of me talked myself out of being “that mom”, but I breathed a heavy sigh of relief when he finally came home on the bus.

The news evolved throughout the day, some of the facts changing slightly. But the most horrible fact had been confirmed a certainty – 20 children and 6 adults had been killed in their school that day.

Their school. Their elementary school. First graders and their teachers, their principal, and their aid.

It’s unimaginable. Unthinkable. But it happened. And it happened in the village of Sandy Hook in the storybook town of Newtown, CT. And if it could happen there, it could happen anywhere.

I’ve thought a lot about those twenty-six families throughout the year, and what the days must be like for them. Especially all of the “firsts”. First birthday, first Spring, first Summer, first day of school, first Halloween, first Thanksgiving. I cannot even imagine having to endure something so painful as having to lose a child in such a horrific way, yet having to relive that pain with every “first” that happens without their child or loved one. My heart aches for all of those families just thinking about it.

This post is not about debating the second amendment, or any variation of the many, many debates on gun control. There is plenty of that going on in other outlets and nothing I say here will really make a difference. And I think you can probably guess where I stand on that debate.

This post is about remembering the victims and their families, and how hard this day must be for them.

This post is about remembering the Sandy Hook community and the amazing courage and strength that they have shown throughout the year.

This post is about teaching our children love, kindness and empathy, not just through words, but through example.

This post is about taking time out for the little things. At the end of the day it is the little things that matter most. These are the things that will make your children feel loved.

Cherish every single moment that you have with your children. Hug them. A lot. Tell them you love them. A lot. Spend time with them. A lot. Do this for you and for your children. Think of those families that can no longer do any of these things with their children and do this for them.