So here is the truth.

After a rough start due to an injury, my training is actually going really well. I managed to get caught up to my original training schedule pretty quickly and I have successfully completed the first of two 20 mile runs.

So all is good right? Great even?

Truth be told, I’m scared of a few things:

1. I’m still worried about my foot. I don’t really have any reason to be worried because it actually feels really good. But not too long ago it hurt really bad so I am a bit skeptical, that it won’t flare up again. I just keep hoping it can hold out for the five weeks I need it too, but it is kind of out of my control and always in the back of my mind.

2. Because of my foot injury, my training hasn’t been as intense as it was last year. I’ve skipped a few mid week runs here and there because of the kids’ schedules or my work schedule, and justified it as the rest being good for my foot. The pace of my long training runs hasn’t been as fast as last year either. So my mileage and my pace have both been below par with last year. And because I log all my runs, this is not just speculation. I’ve been comparing everything – weekly mileage and pace – with my training last year. Sometimes having data is not a good thing.

3. Last year I ran my fastest marathon ever and was so close to a marathon PR of 4:15. Even though I was given a ‘Participation Certificate’ that confirmed this ‘projected finish time’, it’s still not the same thing, I didn’t actually finish. So my original goal for the 2014 marathon was to run as fast, if not faster than my pace last year. But I am not sure how realistic this is since my training hasn’t been the same as last year. I don’t want to set the bar low but I also want to have realistic expectations. And I am afraid I will be disappointed if I don’t have a run as great as my run last year.

4. I’m worried about the weather. The weather last year was perfect, it could not have been any better. It’s highly unlikely that well have the same perfect weather conditions two years in a row.

5. I’m worried I won’t finish. After going through all the training last year and not finishing, it’s hard not to worry that the same thing will happen again. It’s been hard to train and tell yourself that it will all pay off at the finish line because that’s what I told myself last year. I am worried that something outside of my control will prevent me from finishing – again.

6. And I admit, I am a little worried about another attack. As much as I know that Boylston St. in Boston will be the safest place in the world on April 21st., there is still that nagging “what if” that is in the back of my mind.

So there you have it – the truth about some of my fears regarding this year’s marathon. I know that there will always be things that are not in my control, but a big aspect of running is knowing how to be flexible and make the right adjustments based on the conditions your dealt. So with that, I am ready to face all of these fears head on. There is so much positive energy surrounding this year’s marathon and I am very lucky to be a part of it.