Tag Archives: remembrance

Defining 2013

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As the world prepares to bid farewell to 2013, the media is bombarding us with various forms of “The Biggest Moments of 2013”. Not surprising, the tragedy at the Boston Marathon on April 15th more often than not ranks at the top of the list. Images from that day have been flooding TV news and social media, resurfacing a lot of the raw emotions for many – myself included.

I would be lying if I said that that I will not always link 2013 with that horrific day. There is no doubt that it has left a mark on me, much like 9/11 did and the Newtown, CT tragedy did. I think that when I personally connect with something, either directly or indirectly, it leaves a lasting impact. And I don’t think that is necessarily a bad thing. But it does shape the person I am. Some might say it is some form of PTSD and maybe they are right. But we all deal with this type of thing in our own way.

April 15th, 2013 was a tragic day for so many people, for so many different reasons. The days that followed exemplified what I love about the city of Boston – strength, community and resilience. While I will never, ever forget the tragedy that triggered the events in the days that followed, I will also not forget the way the city of Boston rose up in the face of the tragedy.

And the resolve did not weaken as the weeks and months ticked by. And now, on the eve of the New Year, we are again reminded of the spirit of the Boston Marathon with a beautiful First Night ice sculpture.

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So while I will never forget, I will also not let 2013 be defined by tragedy.

Instead, I choose to define 2013 as a year that brought out the best in people, in so many ways.

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I choose to define 2013 as the year that I ran a Boston Marathon PR of 4:15:20, with my family cheering me on along the course.

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I choose to define 2013 as the year Mike and I took the kids on their first trip to Disney World, which was timely and magical beyond words.

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I choose to define 2013 as the year Ryan started to play on his first hockey team and has grown so much as a little hockey player. He also learned how to dive and how to ride a bike with no training wheels.

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I choose to define 2013 as the year that Adyson learned how to skate and started to dance. She also played soccer for the first time, coached by her Daddy.

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I choose not to allow 2013 to be defined by a single day, but rather 365 days of moments and memories – all of the good as well as the bad. I have been shaped by all of it, and in turn, I have learned a lot about myself. And I look forward to discovering what 2014 will bring for me and for my family. Including crossing the Finish Line of the Boston Marathon on April 21st, 2014.

Happy New Year. I wish you all the best that 2014 has to offer.

Mind and Spirit Over Matter (& Finishing on My Own Terms)

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Today I ran in Boston’s Run to Remember Half-Marathon, a race run to pay tribute to all Massachusetts law enforcement officers who have been killed in the line of duty. This was my third time running in this race since its inception nine years ago.

How strangely ironic that such a race was scheduled to be held in Boston, just six weeks after the tragedy at the Boston Marathon. How fitting that Boston’s first big event after the tragedy was a road race. How even more fitting that it be a road race run annually, on Memorial Day weekend, to pay tribute to the Massachusetts Law Enforcement Community and to honor those that have made the ultimate sacrifice. This race afforded the perfect opportunity to also pay tribute to the many thousands of first responders, volunteers and marathon organizers who saved so many lives that terrible day, and the law enforcement officials who brought justice to our city in the days that followed. And this race was the perfect opportunity to honor the memory of MIT Officer Sean Collier, to whom the race was dedicated this year.

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For me, this race was also the perfect opportunity to take another step towards healing the (still) very large holes in my heart that I’ve had since the Boston Marathon. I suspect it will be a while, if ever, before those holes are completely gone.

Physically, I probably should not have run today. I have been nursing a nagging injury that I’ve had since the marathon and despite advice from my medical “advisor” (aka my PT brother Gary) to take a break from running for awhile, I chose to run this race anyway. There really was no choice for me – not running was never an option. I needed to do this more than anything. The only question was how I was going to approach preparing for the 13.1 mile run. I opted for a ‘less is more’ approach and did minimal runs over the last few weeks, my longest run being just 8 miles.

I wasn’t sure how the run would go today, and I was nervous I wouldn’t be able to finish. But if ever there was an instance of ‘mind over matter’, today was it. My mind, and my spirit were so strong, it really didn’t matter how prepared (or not prepared) I was physically. It was a very emotional run, and I did have to fight back tears a few times, finally giving in to them when running through the police officers lining Memorial Drive in front of MIT. But it was also a very inspirational, liberating and healing run.

And today I got my finish. I crossed that finish line with a heavy heart and a smile. And I finished on my own terms.

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Photo courtesy of my son Ryan